Warmish Fresh Air

Kaia Dawn is 6 months old today. This last 6 months have gone by so incredibly fast. I cannot believe how much Kaia has grown and developed in such a short time. I am so proud, blessed and every day I am in awe of her and her sprouting personality. She has two little teeth coming in, she finished her first swim lesson and as of Monday she started eating rice cereal. I love watching her try new things and the rice cereal was no exception she loved it. We have already had a few incidents involving her little grabby hands and a spoon full of cereal. This morning she swatted the spoon unintentionally of course and cereal went everywhere including a big blob on her face. She gave me this horrified look as if to say “what the heck is on my cheek...? Get it off get it off”. I have learned so much about myself, my patience, my capacity to love, my weaknesses and my strengths. I just never dreamed that such a little being could have taken me on so many adventures and taught me so many things.
   One of the challenges that I am facing with Kaia the last few days is her clingy little ways. She is totally a Mama’s girl and she rarely will have anyone else hold her or play on her own and be happy about it. I don’t expect her to live in her jumper or saucer but I would at least love for her to be happy to play with these things for longer than ten minutes at a time. Sometimes she starts crying before I have even gotten her set up. I feel like I should just let her cry it out then maybe she will get over it eventually. But I just feel like what’s the point if she isn’t going to be happy in her “happy play things” then why bother. But me giving in to her cries is totally enabling her clingy behaviour. She loves to sit in her bumbo seat and watch me wash dishes and make dinner. She loves sitting in her bumbo period. But if I put her in her saucer or in her jungle thingy on the floor she fits and won’t have it. She totally has to be right near me in the action. I suppose having her in the bumbo isn’t so bad it is better than on my hip or in the sling. I don’t know what to do about this little clinger I have.
   We have braved the fresh air everyday this week going for walks around town. I am assuming by Kaia’s instant nap she loves it. I love the fresh air the warmish fresh air. I am sure the dogs are happy with our newest hobby as well. The other day the dogs rebelled and decided to go visit Brucelee’s girlfriend a few blocks away. When I received the call from our friend that the boys were at her house I couldn’t believe it but at the same time I so did not blame their poor little bored hearts. When she brought the pooches back I banished them to the deck to think about what they did. Well Dirk Diggler the older and wiser pooch showed me what he thought of that. He took a swan dive off of my hmm 10 foot high deck and belly flopped into the snow and was perched at the front door only to greet Jenn who had just returned them. I was defeated and later that day our long lost hobby emerged from hibernation. My legs are stiff but my heart is happy. I sure do hope that this warmish weather continues or gets warmer.

Dum dee dum dee dumm

Today is supposed to be the first day of spring and I am saddened by the falling snow. I have really never felt the need for the sunshine and warm weather so much in my life as I do this year. I need to get outside so badly. We had another busy weekend of volleyball and hotel living. Kaia is resilient and copes fairly well with our steady lifestyle although this weekend I think her poor little gums were bothering her. On Saturday night Kaia’s cheeks were flaming red and drool was free flowing and my baby was not happy. We attempted to go to the dance we last the dinner barley and that was it. Kaia was screaming nothing was making her happy half drunk people were giving me the looks as if to say “take that baby home this is no place for her”. I finally threw my hands up took a few rushed bites of the dessert Erick brought me packed Kaia up and we made our way back to the hotel across the street. Erick came with us helped me get settled and I shooed him back out to the dance with his friends. I figured there was no sense in both of us missing out on the fun and besides we were there for him. I really had no sour feelings about missing the dance I truly was so content to sit in the hotel room with Kaia. When nursing Kaia wasn’t calming her fussy little butt I decided to give her a bath in the kitchen sink in our little kitchenette. It’s like magic the second her little toes touch the warm water she is as happy as could be. After another midnight snack I put her in the play pen and she watched me busy bee around the room organizing and packing for our morning checkout. She just chilled and watched and slowly fell asleep for the night while I got everything done. I love that she has such a simple bedtime routine.
    We got home late as we always do when returning from out of town. We just like to get every last possible second out of town before we have to hit the highway. Today I am unpacking doing laundry and staying in my jams all day (not that staying in my jams all day is different from any other day). We did lots of shopping so organizing and finding a home for everything is another task for the day. We hit value village and as usual we had some success I love that store! Both of us found some good stuff in there. My creative side has been itching at me lately so I bought some fabric and some Velcro I have an idea and hope to get my sewing machine out and get some sewing done. Some of the baby accessories out there seem like they would be so simple to make myself and so I have decided to attempt to make some of them instead of over paying for these items. We will see how this goes.
   Nothing exciting going on here today other then the hum from the laundry room and  the smell of coffee.

this weather makes me shop

I know we are all going stir crazy here...really badly. The weather is nice ish the temp is above 0 but the roads are like lakes and rivers. This morning it was snow raining..phtt whatever that is. I was on the treadmill yesterday doing my thing listening to music and Bruce Lee (our trustee golden retriever) came up to me and nudged my hand and kept nudging my hand. The look on his face was as if he was saying “seriously you are jogging to nowhere, we could be outside jogging all over town come on”. I have a dog gone stir crazy too. I am not complaining about the lakes and rivers on the roads though, I am more than happy to deal with that for a while. Only because that means the snow is MELTING. I wonder if Kaia is big enough for her hiking backpack thingy that we bought her. That would make navigating along the mess a bit easier than trying to push a chariot around.
   Today is swimming in Sparwood day. Sparwood is the next town down the highway and apparently the pool there is much warmer than our public swimming pool. I love taking Kaia swimming especially when we go with friends.
  I know that Kaia is almost ready for the next size of cloth diaper so I have been doing some shopping for more diapers. I was originally going to stick with one particular brand that I have been using and love but I decided to expand my supply and well penny pinch. I have been buying whatever diapers I can find on sale. Some of them are all in ones and some of them are the pocket style diaper. I have been happy with either one. I have been using the few all in ones that I have and they are really nice to be able to just stick the diaper on her basically the same method as I would if she was in a disposable. The pocket diapers are a bit more work stuffing the diaper before you put it on her. But really nothing major. I think that I am going to be happy with having a grab bag of variety with diapers. There are some that are maybe more user friendly too for the family and babysitters that she will have changing her little bum bum. Keeping my eye out for sales and finding diaper deals has been really worth it. Just yesterday I bought four cloth diapers for the same price that I would have bought two. The sale was amazing and the bigger bonus is the diapers were made in Canada and designed by a midwife in Canada. The sale was unfortunately on a “deal a day” website so the deal is over but in case you were curious the site is www.babysteals.com I have purchased a lot from this site actually. Everything from diapers to burp cloths to boob covers. I have been getting razzed a lot from friends regarding my little online shopping addiction but really I consider it as me being a savvy mom living in a rural town trying to find deals and great baby supplies. I had three parcels in the mail for me yesterday I love that feeling. I of coursed opened them right away when I got home even before I put my groceries away. One parcel was more pictures I got printed of Kaia. I am really trying to keep up on printing my pictures. The other parcel was some burp cloths that I ordered that I paid 50% less then I paid for them when I bought them locally. And the last parcel was two diaper covers I ordered not on sale but a special limited edition color. I am trying to buy neutral color diapers so that we can use them comfortably if we happen to have a boy one day. I think we have 3 diapers that are girly and the rest are neutral our future baby boy will wear the girly colors either way. I ‘m not stressed about that I mean really Kaia wears her blue diapers all the time and there is no issue there. I think a little pink on a boy doesn’t look so bad. Its funny I have been really conscious of the bigger items that we buy for Kaia I have made sure that they are gender neutral so that when we do expand our family they will be suitable for either gender. There is no point in buying these things twice just because of the color. I also love that my mindset is already on my soon to be growing family. There is no real question we are having more babies lots and lots of babies. I just have to go back to work for a bit and make some more money so I can keep shopping for all my babies.

I hate the snow so dam much

How can I get balance in this crazy new life I am living. There are so many things that need to be balanced out. Housework, Mommyhood, relationship, self and and and and. There is never enough time in the day to get everything done exactly how I want it done exactly when I want it done. I have to let go of some of the expectations I have on myself, on my time and on others around me. My mind wonders into the future often thinking about how my life and schedule will be when I go back to work. I wonder how all these things will balance out when I have to add another huge time consumer to the list. I also wonder into the past thinking about the way my time and life was balanced out. It seems I managed to fill my time with just as many things but just in different ways. I know that I need to stop drifting and focus on today. I don’t think that there is really any other way of doing the balancing act. Each day brings different challenges. Some days are good nap days some days are bad nap days....some days are stuck in the house from the snow days and some days are free to go where ever I need to go or be days. Even sitting here typing out my thoughts I am thinking in the back of my mind “my beautiful daughter is sound asleep I should be mopping or dusting some other sort of chore”. But I need to grab my wondering brain and focus on this moment.  This typing as mindless as it may sound is the part of my day that is for my “self”. So yes this is part of my balancing act. We were up at 630 eating, feeding my daughter and playing until nap time.  Nap time for Kaia shovel the snow time for me and then typing my thoughts along with some mindless internet surfing. Does that seem like a good balance so far? It is interesting that while I am cleaning the nagging need to focus on myself never comes into my head. But while I am focusing on myself the nagging need to clean is always lingering and nattering at me. Argh. Everything needs to be assigned equal importance, equal time and equal balance. Insert sigh here.
I guess what started all these thoughts is the dam snow and the dam time we spend on snow removal in this giant yard of ours. The enormity of our driveway and the enormous amount of time it takes to get it clean takes away from the balance of the rest of my life. I hate the snow I hate it so dam much.

I’m watching the snow fall and fall hard. I am sad.....I want spring to arrive so badly. We were Calgary last weekend while Erick coached volleyball. I went to the mall and did some much needed shopping. The spring clothing has started to arrive in all the stores and I was aching to buy some new fun clothes that I could wear in the nice warm weather. It just seems so far away. Even my little accessory Kaia has so many cute spring/summer outfits. I should clarify though that my aching for the spring weather is not only to don the latest fashions it is also an ache to get out of this house and walk and play and enjoy leaving the house without layer and layer myself and Kaia. I can’t wait to start camping again. I feel that this year we will be able to get lots of camping in with Erick’s Monday to Friday schedule and my maternity leave schedule.
   Kaia is still a trooper when it comes travel our trip to Calgary was another travel success. We stayed with my cousin and her beau. I’m not overly fussy about packing up my whole house for Kaia when we travel. I was happy to make Kaia a little bed on the floor and she loved it all the same. She slept so well throughout the two nights that we were there. I don’t know what it was about staying in that condo but I too slept like a log. I just felt really relaxed and comfortable. I had some really great visiting time with Amanda and Andrew we had lots of great conversation and they were definitely a big help with lugging Kaia around the city. Kaia was a flames fan on Friday night we were given tickets to the game from Erick’s boss and we brought Kaia along for the adventure. She turned a lot of heads in her little flames jersey. It was a good night but exhausting. Man it was a lot of work. I really should write a letter to the scotia bank sattledome and complain about the lack of baby change tables in that facility. I had to change her on the counter top...gross! We went for dinner with some of Erick’s co-workers before hand and my little bundle of joy was a fuss pot for the entire duration of the dinner. When we pulled into the resteraunt we decided that it would be best if I fed Kaia right up in the car before going in and finding our table. Well the pre feeding didn’t seem to change her fussy little mood one bit. I have to say first that Erick is very supportive of me nursing Kaia and he supports and knows that I will whip it out anywhere to feed my child regardless of the feelings of those around me. If you don’t like it go away...that is how I feel about that. So about half way through the meal I say to Erick I think she is hungry again. His response was interesting and one that I hadn’t really experienced with him yet. He kind of just looked at me with this odd look on his face and all he said was “oh really....are you sure?” At this point Erick was sweating a bit from bouncing Kaia and trying to make conversation with his boss that happened to sit with us. But what I really seen in his face was this shear panic stricken fear...it was a look that said to me “for the love of god Tiffany please do not whip your boob out here at this table with my coworkers and particularly my boss....please god....don’t do it”. I know that Erick’s boss and his wife probably would not have been bothered by me nursing Kaia right then and there. They are parents and she is a baby lover that was asking to hold Kaia all night. But I thought ok Erick this time you win....I got up grabbed kaia and lugged her into the bathroom. I walked into the stall trying to plan my attack; I decided that standing was the best most sanitary option. I wasn’t going to sit on the toilet with my pants on and I was most certainly not going to nurse Kaia with my pants down and sitting on the toilet. So I stood in that stall and nursed Kaia while standing and staring at the tiles and gunk of a public washroom. Oh the joys.
  Erick’s diaper changing saga continues....I think that I have made it very clear how much I hate using disposable diapers. Every time I do Kaia needs a total outfit change from a blowout. We were at a restaurant eating lunch Erick was holding Kaia on his lap and Kaia let her rip. She ripped up her back all over her leg warmers...and all over Erick’s jeans. I laughed and laughed and oh boy that was the wrong reaction. He gave me the look of death as he lugged Kaia into the bathroom to clean himself and change Kaia. I enjoyed that moment so much I didn’t stop laughing after Erick expressed his disgust...it only fuelled my laughing fire even more. I love that Erick takes Kaia into the mens room and changes her he doesn’t hesitate to take part in that even when we are out. Don’t let your husband’s fool you ladies, there are baby change tables in men’s rooms. When Erick got over the sheer grossness of his ordeal he pushed his meal aside I guess he lost his appetite. He said that while he was in bathroom changing Kaia some guy came in there and asked Erick if he was going to be long. The change table was located in the one and only stall in the bathroom. Erick said the guy kind of looked like he was in distress like he had to go bad....Erick was also in distress covered in poop himself and a baby covered from head to toe. He just looked at the guy and said “I don’t what to tell you man, but I am going to be a while”. Haha oh I laughed some more when he told me that. I think Erick can laugh at it now but boy he was not in the mood to laugh at the time let me tell you.
   Kaia completed her first swimming lesson session on Tuesday. We had so much fun swimming I am excited to get her back into it again. I think she will be like her Tita Taylor a little fishy in the water. Thankfully the snow has not stopped us from swimming. Well I could go on but I suppose I should stop for today and get some house work done.

bouncing around

    After five days of Kaia and her crib in my room Erick and I have finally put Kaia in her own room. Last night was the first night that she was in her own room! It was a great success. She was up at 0330 had a quick snack and then was back to sleep until 0730. I am so satisfied with that schedule. Waking up at 730 is so reasonable. The 0500 and 0600 am that we were going on was not my idea of a good schedule. I have been teasing Erick about his video baby monitor purchase from the beginning but I have to admit it is a handy little gadget. I like to give Erick a hard time about his constant need for the latest gadget but I suppose I do reap the benefits of all of these gadgets. The monitor has a little toggle on it so you can move the camera around in her room to scan the whole room. Now I get to decorate her room with all the decals that I bought for the walls. It is amazing what gets me excited these days. I am glad that I supported Erick and how he was feeling about Kaia moving to her own room but I am very happy that we have decided to move her. It was definitely time.
   I feel like in the last few days Kaia has changed so much. She has definitely discovered her little tongue she is constantly playing with it and sticking it out it is pretty cute and makes me laugh every time. She is starting to entertain herself more when she is playing in her little saucer bouncy thingy. She has this little excited giggle she does when you talk to her. She is a little bouncer now too. She is bouncing in my arms and bouncing in her saucer. I have been having a blast playing with her and interacting with her the last few days. There have been lots of laughing and giggling from the both of us. 

  I have been a bit of a baker this week and little miss Kaia has been my helper watching me intently and eating all the measuring cups. I have to say I have been having a really good week. Swimming lessons were really good this week too she was kicking her feet, going under water and floating on her back and letting her little ears go under. Those are kind of the goals they are shooting for at this stage. Next week is Kaia’s last lesson for her first set of lessons and they will take a picture of her under water I am excited one big milestone done. The lessons will start up again right after spring break and we will be there for sure. 
    I am really lucky to have friends that have young children I learn from them and can talk to them without feeling like I am boring the snot out of them. Truly all of my conversations are about being a

Mom and raising Kaia. It is amazing to see all of the different parenting styles that are out there and coming to understand what works for me and what doesn’t. One thing that has rung very true for me is consistency she is one smart little cookie already and will play me like a fiddle if I don’t stick to my guns. I say that as I am listening to Kaia cry herself to sleep for a nap. I will not go in there she will fall asleep on her own. It is true and I love that I have taught her that.