Confused...

Easter weekend was quiet and uneventful. Kaia joined the priest at church preaching along with him in her baby babble of course. She made the congregation smile if nothing else. Erick’s Mom took her up during communion to get blessed by the priest. I guess she cannot receive communion until she is baptised. I don’t really understand that whole concept. I was raised to believe that you can take communion big, small, young, old, and baptised or not. I may not understand Catholicism but it is important to Erick and his family that Kaia is baptised in the Catholic Church. We were married in a catholic church as well I did not convert to Catholicism but I was baptised when I was 12 so I guess that is ok. I feel strongly about raising Kaia to believe and learn about God but I don’t feel like I want to impose a certain denomination on her. Its sounds so complicated and I guess it is. I find it weird the things we do just because it’s what others want us to do them. I guess I need to brush up on my understanding of Catholicism. I don’t expect Kaia to take part in something that I don’t really know much about. I have so many questions about the rituals that happen in a catholic service and it is frustrating that most often the people (Catholics) around me cannot answer any of my questions. Is there a book out there “Catholicism for dummies”? Like why the heck do they ring the chimes? What was with the candles at the Easter service? Why can I not participate in anything I am baptised, I believe? Why do I have to confess to a priest? Can’t God hear me from my house? I do kind of feel conflicted about baptising Kaia.....but it’s just what I should do “the right thing”.  I know that getting blessed or baptised by the priest isn’t a bad thing. I want Kaia to be blessed. I just would be more comfortable if I had a better understanding of the rationale behind all of the fluff. So we talked to the Priest after the service about planning Kaia’s baptism. We have to go to Baptism prep. Seriously.....What a load of bull shit. I guess that is how I really feel. I know that God loves me and he knows my heart and I have to believe that he does not need me to partake in all these rituals in order to be a part of his family.
   On a less controversial note.....Kaia looked pretty darn cute in her Easter dress. She has been doing good talking a lot more. She has seemed to find another pitch to her little voice. She has this weird little squeal to her voice now.
  Kaia and I are heading out on a jet plane next week. We are going to Nova Scotia for 3 whole weeks. I can’t wait. We are going to visit my Grammy. I am so over due for a get a way. I told my Grammy that I don’t care if we just sit and visit for the entire 3 weeks. I am ready to get out and away from everything. I am trying not to think too hard about it because I am just so very excited and I know that I won’t be able to sleep if I get myself too riled up.
   I think I mentioned before that Kaia has bit me a couple of times with her two little bottom teeth. The bites were shocking but not so bad. I thought that she forgot about the biting and was more concerned about eating. But then yesterday she bit me so hard I bled....oh my gosh....I might as well have put in a nipple ring after that. I thought Kaia was going to be tossed across the room my whole body jumped and jerked...Kaia just looked up at me in shock. I am not to the point where I feel it is time to cut her off because of her biting but I’m telling you that hurt and it continues to ache a bit every time she latches.
   We are off to Fernie today to do some errands. Another well needed distraction.

Easter

Easter Sunday and Kaia’s 7 month birthday. The Easter bunny didn’t visit our house this year. We told him that it would be better to save all his goodies for next year when Kaia would understand Easter a bit more (rural living). The sun is out and the forcast is predicting +12c. Kaia was up bright and early this morning well it wasn’t really bright out when we were up at 0550. But anyhow most of the morning chores and routines are complete. Kaia is down for her first nap of the day. I have to iron her pretty little Easter dress and switch over the laundry. We are going to church this afternoon with Erick’s Mom. It’s time to start planning a baptism for Kaia. Erick needs a haircut I need a shower. The day is going to be busy but it should be good. I have had Kaia’s outfit planned for a few weeks now but the daunting task of trying to figure out what I am going to squeeze my buns into is starting to creep up on me. Blah I had this part.
   The snow is melting which means the dogs are muddy which also means my floors are steady dirty. I want to get the gritty feeling swept up I can’t stand that feeling under my feet. I know it is a losing battle at this time of year. My dog nose smeared windows are staring at me every day and I feel like I can avoid them no longer. These are the things I want to get done today along with the festivities. Wish me luck. I do enjoy the routine of weekdays for getting chores done. Weekends are so chaotic. Makes me feel stressed.

Oh this just in from the baby food front...Kaia had bananas mixed with rice cereal for the first time this week and it seemed to be a success. She was happy didn’t make a face or gag. So far I am certain that she loves avocado and likes bananas all of the time and eats yams and carrots but likes them only some of the time.
   I have been watching the tv show Mad Men. We recently got Netflix (which I love) and I am able to watch it on my own schedule. Anyways that’s beside the point. The show is set in the 60’s and it showcases business men and families in this era. I have been totally offended at the women in this show. They are made to serve their husbands every need ensuring that dinner is on the table every single night and that the kids are prim and proper. They are always made up perfectly bright red shiny lips big hair and fancy out fits. Oh how this is so the opposite from my life. There is not dinner on the table every single night. Erick cooks 60% of the time. I am often still in my sweats at 5pm. And Erick definitely helps out with Kaia from feeding to diaper changing to getting down on the floor and playing with her. The men on this show drink too much cheat on their wives and sometimes don’t even come home every night. It was no wonder a lot of the women were put on anti depressents in that era. The marriages have such a power over relationship and not a shared unified team. I don’t know I am really happy that I don’t have to live that life style. I am happy that Kaia does not have to grow up with a Dad that is never around. I don’t know what made me want to write about it. Maybe because I am really into watching the show right now and it’s like a book when you read a good book you always have it on your mind. I would like to live a week in that era just to see what it was like. I don’t think that I would do it as a desperate house wife. I would be a free loving hippy.
Another thing that has really affected me about the show is that one of the women had a baby out of wed lock with a co-worker and she didn’t want to keep the baby she kept it a secret. Her family is raising the baby. But every time they show the baby and her together she rejects him. She won’t hold him won’t look at him....man I just want to scream...hold and love your baby lady. Sigh.
 Not much exiting goes on in my life Netflix and baby food.

This morning at 4am when I was filling up my freezer bag full of pumped milk I had to stop and think and use my fingers to count and figure out what the date was. I feel like this last couple of weeks has gone by extremely fast. I took some photos of Kaia for Easter and was hoping to get Easter cards made but it seems as though I am LATE. Easter is in four days. We went to Edmonton last weekend for volleyball and we stayed a few extra days to shop and go to the water park. Erick took the last week off of work to accommodate our little holiday and then to have a few days of home time to relax and get some much needed house work done. Well the house work was on my agenda. I had an ok time in Edmonton. Kaia was a fuss pot for a lot of the trip. It is exhausting trying to entertain her when she just wants to be a crank.
  One lucky souvenir we brought home from Edmonton was a pair of colds. Me and Kaia got it good once again. I think that I am finally on the down hill slide to feeling healthy although I still can’t taste or smell. Kaia is a steady dripping faucet and boy does she put up a real fight when you try and wipe her nose clean. She has some major vocals.
I want to bitch and moan and scream at the weather snow -9 c snow snow snow....I am so dam sick of the snow I’m even sick of bitching about the snow. I am sick of hearing other people bitch about the snow. So whatever snow. YOU WIN!
Kaia now officially has two little teeth and let me tell you I have felt those teeth up close and personal. The first time she bit me I thought she was going to end up on the floor. I screamed and jumped she jumped. A good friend (public health nurse) told me that the trick is to bring them in really tight and hold them there for a few seconds and then put them on the floor. I have tried it, Kaia thinks it’s a game and she looked up at me smiling as if to say, “let’s do it again”. After a visit to the dentist to watch Erick get tortured by Britt and Dr. Darin I learned that it is time to get brushing Kaia’s little gums. I don’t want her poor little mouth to get decayed but I foresee this being a fight similar to snot wiping.
Kaia’s eating adventures have gone ok in the last few weeks. It seems that she is touch and go with wanting to eat and the taste of things. I have been touch and go too with feeding her new flavours. I really have to get my butt in gear. I am determined to feed her organic homemade baby food but yet I have not been so determined in making it. I have yams and carrots made and in the freezer but poor thing she must want some more variety. I have not given her anything sweet yet either. The rice cereal has been a main staple too, breakfast food.
I am really on a mission to keep myself busy and get interested in some hobbies. Between being bored and uninspired and the lack of vitamin D I am blah blah blah. My blah attitude has not gone unnoticed by those around me. Erick agrees that I need to have more outlets. I mean obviously being a mom is not making me bored. I have an unending list of things to do around here and for and with Kaia. But you know what I mean when I say bored. I am bored in other ways.
I cleaned the basement (half ass) and got a table with my sewing machine set up. I am on a mission to sew some drool bibs and bunggy cords that you hang toys from. I guess just being creative is a really great outlet for me. Unfortunately I live in a one horse town and already need more supplies. The dam Fabricland lady sold me the wrong snaps.

Anyways .....sorry about my hiatus I find that when Erick is off work my daily weekly routine is completely changed. No working out, no journaling and I eat lots and lots of carbs. It’s like I truly go on holiday right along with him.

same old same old

I was browsing through some of Erick’s cousins’ pictures yesterday. They were pictures of the Philippines....oh how I wish that we could just get up and go whenever we wanted. I would just go right now. I am in the mood for some change. I keep remodelling my kitchen, travelling, buying a new house and moving to a new town in my head in my dreams and in my thoughts. I think I will settle with little changes first. Maybe I can convince Erick to let me sand my cupboards and re stain them.   
We are heading out of town this weekend I am excited to get out of dodge but it’s the kind of change that only lasts for the weekend and then I am back here in the same old same old.
  Kaia has been sitting up by herself today. I pulled out this old carpet that I had and I set her all up with her favourite toys and she just sits up like a big girl playing until she slowly topples over. The carpet breaks her fall perfectly I am hoping that this will encourage her to stay sitting and not go for the backwards swan dive.
  I am making carrots for Kaia today hopefully this is another food we can add to the menu.
Erick changed his first solidish poopy diaper last night. I am so mean. I pulled out the video camera and recorded him and his antics. I missed the beginning of the scene when he opened her diaper and was like “oh my gawd what the hell is that”. Deep breathing and odd other sounds came from him as well. He called for me to help him when I asked what he needed he was like “um I don’t know come and hold her legs up for me or something”. Haha I really should figure out how to add a video on here. I am lucky that he is so involved and will change her bum without question. He even does it in public places in public men’s washrooms. (I have said it once and I will say it again, don’t let your husband fool you there are change tables in Men’s washrooms). I am even more lucky that I have some of his antics on video now..muahaha...insert evil laughing cackling and conniving.
   Now that her little poo poo is solid we are using biodegradable liners in her diaper that holds the poop. You just pick it up and flush. No spraying or anything. I love cloth diapers...have I said that before?
Volleyball practice tonight...that is about the extent of it.

substanceless...

 I wish that I had the discipline to keep my house clean steady. I always just get lazy and let things slip for a day or two until I have to do a massive house clean. The task wouldn’t be so daunting if I just put things right away, ran the broom every evening, and maybe even did an in between load of laundry. Everything just adds up and adds up over the course of a few days and then it is so extremely daunting and exhausting trying to clean everything. I am noticing a pattern in my cleaning though I do like to do certain things on certain days. How OCD is it if I make a chart listing the major chores I want done on certain days. Oh I feel like a fool even saying that out loud.
   My husband loves to be on the move on his days off; we are always trying to get the heck out of dodge. I was determined this weekend to stay home and gets some much needed house cleaning reorganizing done. I suppose you could call it spring cleaning. It didn’t feel like spring though. I love the kind of spring cleaning that has the weather to go with it.  I managed to convince Erick that staying home was a good idea and let me tell you we were both successful at marking some major things off our list. He cleaned our garage, recycled, and put up my new shelf.
    Kaia loved the avocado that I blended with breast milk I am happy one food we can add to the menu for her. I am still determined and really want to try yams again. Maybe she was just having an off day. When we first fed Kaia the rice cereal Erick’s comment was “well I’m glad she liked it, but I am so not looking forward to what her shit is going to look like now”. I just laughed and up until the avocado meals nothing has really changed. I changed a rather interesting diaper this morning and I choose to keep it hush hush. I can’t wait to hear the antics from Erick when he discovers this new development. Hehe. I am so mean. But this is where my entertainment comes from these days.
 Speaking of entertainment Erick and I decided to challenge each other at a game of monopoly last night. We are so competitive with each other. I got whooped though and of course refused to mortgage anything. Poor sport eh. We love playing games and it was nice to do that again.
   I have some pictures I want to upload but I cannot find my little card uploader thingy. I thought I was getting organized here.
   My blogging is so not exciting these days cooking, cleaning....diapering. Seriously where is the substance?

food fight

Writing is kind of like the gym if you get out of your routine of doing it getting back into it isn’t always easy. It’s Saturday and this isn’t usually one of the days I write but it also isn’t usually a day that I am home. We often take full advantage of our weekends and get out of town. We woke up to 6 inches of snow and a snow storm still going full speed. I am not exactly in the mood to go anywhere this weekend knowing the highways are going to be a pain. This week was a busy one anyways. Kaia and I put on a lot of miles. We went to Eureka to pick up some parcels and then we did a day trip to Calgary for Ikea of course. Although I am totally pissed about the snow I am content to stay home today and just do nothing...or at least do house chores. Now the only thing I have to do is convince Erick that it is a good idea to stay in today. He is of course outside doing snow removal detail.
   I am trying to get Kaia to go to bed a bit earlier. Right now we average around 9-930 getting her into bed. Last night she was in bed at 8 well she probably didn’t fall asleep until 830 but it’s a start. She was up twice in the night and then woke in the morning at 730. I guess that is a good start. I can’t complain considering only just a couple months ago she was up every 2.5 hours.
    I am trying to persuade kaia to start rolling over and sitting up. She can sit without support but when she reaches for a toy she slowly slumps down to the side....she hasn’t really grasped the concept that she can’t just take a backward swan dive into the floor. She just stiffens right up and falls back. Thankfully her little head has only been caught by me and not met the cold hard wood floor. I do think that having hard wood flooring is part of the reason why we don’t spend a lot of time playing on the floor. But I am trying to change that we put blankets out and have little play sessions.
  Kaia has been eating rice cereal like a champ for the last couple of weeks now so I thought it was time to start a new food. I thought that Yams would be great I love yams. Kaia was happy at the first tasting she kind of made a face at the new flavour but she seemed to be happy. The next day she totally rejected me and my yams. She gagged and grimaced and winced. I was persistent and forced a few more bites into her but I had to give in, her poor gag reflex was cute but probably torturous for her. So now I don’t know what food to attempt next. I did buy a book to help give me some recipes and tips the tips are good but the recipes are not well at least for this age group anyways. There is an abundance of recipes for the 12-18 month category but not so much for 6-8. I don’t know what food to try, I thought I would try avocado I love avocado so she should too right? Well that idea back fired on me with the yams. The recipe for avocado in my book is for avocado and bananas. Eww avocado and bananas mixed together blah. I am not ready for her to have fruit yet either. I have always been told to do the fruity flavours last so that she doesn’t develop a sweet tooth. So I guess that I will be doing some online searching for avocado recipes or other ideas of what veggie to try next. Until then rice cereal it is oh and of course breast milk. Erick said that when he was a kid his mom made him avocado milk shakes and he loved them. I am pretty sure that recipe consisted of evaporated milk, avocado and sugar. Two of these ingredients Kaia definitely cannot have but I wonder if it would be all the same to just add breast milk I hear that is sweet tasting. Alright enough thinking out loud!  
    Kaia is napping husband is outside ploughing time to get some stuff done.