Luka Ann Canlas born Feb 16th....she almost made it on her Lolo’s birthday but this little girl wanted her own special day. Mom has gone home and Erick is back to work Luka is three weeks old today and the routine and reality that I have two children is starting to set in. I have survived my first week with Erick back to work and I actually managed to get to two play groups. My poor little Kaia gets so bored when we are home for a day without doing anything. Her boredom translates as a whinny unhappy little girl, which then usually results in a whinny unhappy Mama. So although packing up my little girls is a lot of work it does pay off. I would have to say though my house is a pig sty....fitting in cleaning is still on my agenda of things to figure out.
Finding the time to sit on the computer, knit, sew or anything by myself between naps, meals and nursing has proven challenging. I often have one in my arms and one pulling my finger to take me to her room to play. This is her favorite thing to do. She just loves to have us sit with her in her room while she plays. She tried grabbing Luka’s little hand to come and play with her. Luka now joins us as we hunker down on the floor and watch Kaia play and make a mess. When Kaia naps I am usually found trying to fit Luka and my laptop on my lap while I nurse her. Just for that brief little bit of mindless wonder.
Everything is still here there and everywhere....and I don’t really know what is up or down sometimes but I am surviving and determined that when all this dust settles I will have figured out how to have some time for myself...a relatively tidy house and a happy healthy couple of girls.....
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
I'm ready little baby
Feb 12 2012
Well hello...two days overdue....almost 2 weeks into my Mom’s visit....and still no feelings of any sort of cramps or twinges.
I can honestly say that although life has been harder in the sense of caring for my little monsters with a basketball in my gut I have not felt ready to be done done done more so then I do now. Shortness of breath, mobility constraints, bladder issues and tiredness have now all taken their toll and taken me to the place of being ready. I am ready to hold my baby; I am ready to play with Kaia for longer than minutes at a time. It is funny that I say I am ready though because I still have moments where I feel like I don’t really think the reality has set in. The reality that I am going to have two monsters really hasn’t set in. I am physically ready and I have my home ready....but boy mentally I don’t think I know what is about to hit me. I don’t think Kaia really knows what is about to hit her too. I keep trying to tell her that there is a baby in my tummy and I play with her dolls like I would a newborn. But I just don’t think that any amount pretend play or talking will really prepare my little 16 month olds mind what is about to happen.
Well if it ever does happen.
My sister in-law informed me that Erick’s late father’s birthday is on Feb 17th. Maybe that is what this little baby is waiting for. It would be a great honour. I don’t know what day or what time. But I am ready.
Well hello...two days overdue....almost 2 weeks into my Mom’s visit....and still no feelings of any sort of cramps or twinges.
I can honestly say that although life has been harder in the sense of caring for my little monsters with a basketball in my gut I have not felt ready to be done done done more so then I do now. Shortness of breath, mobility constraints, bladder issues and tiredness have now all taken their toll and taken me to the place of being ready. I am ready to hold my baby; I am ready to play with Kaia for longer than minutes at a time. It is funny that I say I am ready though because I still have moments where I feel like I don’t really think the reality has set in. The reality that I am going to have two monsters really hasn’t set in. I am physically ready and I have my home ready....but boy mentally I don’t think I know what is about to hit me. I don’t think Kaia really knows what is about to hit her too. I keep trying to tell her that there is a baby in my tummy and I play with her dolls like I would a newborn. But I just don’t think that any amount pretend play or talking will really prepare my little 16 month olds mind what is about to happen.
Well if it ever does happen.
My sister in-law informed me that Erick’s late father’s birthday is on Feb 17th. Maybe that is what this little baby is waiting for. It would be a great honour. I don’t know what day or what time. But I am ready.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Last week was a snow filled and COLD week. -25degrees was the temperature for most of the days. Needless to say we did not do much other than stoke the fireplace. This weekend thankfully the temperature warmed (I can’t believe I am excited about this) to a -5 degrees. So I guess you could say I embraced the weather and made the most of where we live. Saturday morning we took Kaia to the local sledding spot. After purchasing a couple sleds from our local “General Store” we trucked over to the hill and attempted sending Kaia down the hill for her first time. We haven’t really spent a lot of time out in the snow so she still kind of looks at it and touches it with a look on her face as if to say “what the heck is this white stuff”? Of course Erick went down the first few times with her. I can tell you that she didn’t really crack a smile or a frown. She kind of just looks so indifferent. Well actually she kind of gives you these looks and I am sure she is thinking “ok here we go let’s do this to make the parents happy I’ll let them snap a few photos laugh at me and then hopefully it will be over”. After her and Erick went down a few times together we got brave and started sending her down on her own and still no real emotion or expressions expressed. Although one of the runs down the hill she bailed off the sled and ended up doing a log roll down the rest of the hill. I have this uncontrollable problem...I tend to laugh my ass off when people fall, trip or in this case go tumbling down the hill. And this was no exception. You may think I am so very cruel laughing at my 16 month old as she tumbles down the hill and not chasing down the hill after her. But after the ordeal was over she looked up at me and I am sure when she seen me laughing she was thinking “ok, I am ok I don’t need to cry”. Thankfully she didn’t get any snow in her face but yet again not a peep came out of her. She is a tough little cookie.
Sunday we hung out at home for most of the day I took her outside for a cruise on the sled just around our neighbourhood. I was trying to make it really fun for her maybe get a giggle or two out of her. I was going in circles and running but my indifferent little girl was more interested in dragging her gloved little hand along the side of the sled in the snow. She would then look at all the snow that would accumulate on her mitt shake it off, taste it and then stick her hand out and drag it again. I don’t think I got one giggle out of her. She is so serious.
All that snow “FUN” from the weekend and by Sunday night I could have sworn that my pelvic bones were going to split in half and a baby was going to fall out. I think trucking through the snow definitely was the most calories I have burned in a few weeks. Thank goodness I have a chiropractor appointment this week. I have a little bit of a limp to add to my waddle....limp waddle, limp waddle..... According to my little pregnancy app on my iphone I have 18 more days...Kaia came 5 days early...give or take...not much longer and my limp waddle will turn into a bliss filled sleep deprived zombie walk. I really don’t think that it has donned on me yet that I am going to have another newborn in my life very soon.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
ramblings of a trapped Mama
My driveway looks immaculate on most days due to my husband’s compulsive need to snow blow steady. I am thankful that he has these compulsive behaviours; I have learned a new appreciation for a snowless driveway. But that is two hours out of our evenings that I could think of a million other things we could be doing as a family. He even missed all his other commitments out of the house last night in order to fix up the snow blower and get the drive way accessible. Anyways that is another reason why I need to move. I was not meant to live in this snow filled town.
My “nesting syndrome” has proven to have good effect on my motivation. The sewing machine has been up and running yet again with one project down and thoughts of many more on the horizon. I almost broke the needle on my machine the other night and I nearly started crying. Breaking a needle or should I say the last needle I have would completely halt my sewing because yet again I would have to leave town in order to buy another one. Luckily the needle held out and I was able to complete my project. My knitting needles have also been active. I am making little newborn hats for my new little bundle and for the other bundles that are soon expected. The only thing is there are a few of us that have not found out the sex of our babies so I need to knit a couple color options. Thankfully the hats are itty bitty...they are a bit faster to knit.
Kaia’s swimming still and I have noticed that she is starting to excel. She blows bubbles and is getting way more comfortable to run around in the shallow end. She jumps in while we hold her hands. It’s funny how you do something regularly and don’t really notice any change and then all of a sudden there is growth and change improvement. Regardless I love that she is a little swimmer and will not be afraid to explore the water. Swimming was something that my Mom was adamant that we learned growing up and I too am very adamant about my kids learning those skills.
For the last couple of months I have been trying to show Kaia how to feed her dolls or hold them gently. It hasn’t really been that successful she doesn’t seem to care. Fair enough she is very young yet. But lately she has started to feed her dolls and her teddy. It is pretty cute I must admit and it is progress. Hopefully the gentleness will make more sense to her when we are actually referring to an actual living baby.
Off to go distract myself with some more knitting.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
"Nesting" ya...ok
After spending my $45 wad of Canadian Tire money I managed to walk away with a little stack of Rubbermaid storage containers and a few more odds and ends. I am thrilled that I got most all of my items for FREE....saving Canadian Tire money does pay off....I am even more thrilled that my nesting, purging, basement clutter cleaning has begun. I have spent the shreds of my last 2 evenings getting my basement back to working order. My car is full of bags and boxes that are going to the thrift store. My daughters clothes are no longer in random bags and boxes strewn all over my basement they are now in itemized boxes that are neatly labelled with the sizes. I have also brought a bag of newborn clothes and paraphernalia that I will soon need to our bedroom. We will be sharing our sanctuary with a little being soon enough. I was thinking as I laid my head down last night that my full nights of sleep are drawing to a close. Anyhow we have a little shelf especially for the baby and the cradle is ready to be taken up there as well.
All this purging and organizing feels so good I must admit and I do know that I feel this way pregnant or not. Whenever I get in the mood to organize and purge, I always end feeling so satisfied. I’m not really sure why they call this phase “nesting” it sounds more like a syndrome when you say that. I am simply thinking of my impending life changing, crazy ass scheduleless, mind and mood altering life. This life I speak of hasn’t completely arrived yet but I know it is coming so it only seems fitting to prepare. Right? I am being smart or proactive even. I am not responding to a crazy lady syndrome of pregnancy. I am simply using my precious time wisely only to help my future. So pre cooking meals and baking for the freezer are simply tasks that I am doing to ease my life....When I think of me doing these things as a result of nesting it makes me feel like I am some barefoot, bulging pregnant lady in the kitchen with flour in my rats nest of a hair doo. Oh and I must have the look of frantic I need meds for this “nesting syndrome” on my face. Sheesh! Am I just losing my mind and now making myself look like this crazy pregnant lady? Or are there others out there that feel like we should take a stand for our pregnant asses? We are not simply a walking syndrome. I have swollen feet syndrome, I have I eat too much sweets syndrome, insomnia syndrome, bitchy syndrome, oh it’s just the hormones syndrome, oh your way too fat to pick that up let me get it for you syndrome, let’s organize our life so we have some sort of sanity and peace syndrome otherwise known as “nesting”. What the hell. I’m pregnant and that is all.
Seems to me I may be losing my mind a bit but we’ll blame it on living in a town with only one road in.
All this purging and organizing feels so good I must admit and I do know that I feel this way pregnant or not. Whenever I get in the mood to organize and purge, I always end feeling so satisfied. I’m not really sure why they call this phase “nesting” it sounds more like a syndrome when you say that. I am simply thinking of my impending life changing, crazy ass scheduleless, mind and mood altering life. This life I speak of hasn’t completely arrived yet but I know it is coming so it only seems fitting to prepare. Right? I am being smart or proactive even. I am not responding to a crazy lady syndrome of pregnancy. I am simply using my precious time wisely only to help my future. So pre cooking meals and baking for the freezer are simply tasks that I am doing to ease my life....When I think of me doing these things as a result of nesting it makes me feel like I am some barefoot, bulging pregnant lady in the kitchen with flour in my rats nest of a hair doo. Oh and I must have the look of frantic I need meds for this “nesting syndrome” on my face. Sheesh! Am I just losing my mind and now making myself look like this crazy pregnant lady? Or are there others out there that feel like we should take a stand for our pregnant asses? We are not simply a walking syndrome. I have swollen feet syndrome, I have I eat too much sweets syndrome, insomnia syndrome, bitchy syndrome, oh it’s just the hormones syndrome, oh your way too fat to pick that up let me get it for you syndrome, let’s organize our life so we have some sort of sanity and peace syndrome otherwise known as “nesting”. What the hell. I’m pregnant and that is all.
Seems to me I may be losing my mind a bit but we’ll blame it on living in a town with only one road in.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
New Year
It is a new year and a renewed discipline for journal/ blog writing. I see that I have not posted since September.....since then work and mother had has taken over my life. If I am not doing one I am doing the other. I have been working my ass off trying to get in enough hours to qualify for maternity leave. I think that it is a losing battle though. There is no way I am going to have the time to cram in the rest of the hours I need to qualify. I am now 34 weeks and 6 days pregnant...37 more days until the due date but that doesn’t mean much of anything. People keep asking me when I am going to work until and my joke is “when my water breaks”. There are some opportunities lingering that may help my situation but I won’t mention those until they happen or if they happen. I think that I have retired myself of nightshifts I am at the point where my body is starting to remind me of my limitations. So that also limits me to the amount of shifts that are available. That and childcare.
The month of December flew by like a breeze....we went to Nova Scotia for 10 days for the holidays. It was a great time and I loved showing Erick around the east coast. We both agree that we will have to make it back in the summer months so that he can see the hustle and bustle of summer and the beauty as well. Kaia survived the flights and so did I.
My little mover and shaker is doing well....babbling and talking lots. Her vocabulary consists of words like: thank you, wow, uh oh, what’s that, night night, nice teddy.....and please take note that each of these words has their own. As I am sitting her typing I am trying to think of how I can spell her version of these words and do them justice but I don’t think it’s possible.
She is definitely a mover taking her first steps about two days before Halloween. I was warned that when she becomes mobile I will be busy and wishing she sat still again. But I can honestly tell you that I am enjoying the independence just as much as she is. I love that she goes and explores and wonders around looking for the next best entertainment. Yes watching volleyball practice and games is more work and yes shopping can be a challenge. But it is a challenge that I am ok with. I like to refer to myself more as a child wrangler when we are in public.
Kaia and I still faithfully go to play group almost every day of the week and her new found mobility has definitely made playing with the other children way more appealing to her. She is into caring her little purse around the room and stopping for breaks as she squats down and checks the contents of her purse. Anything that has the remote resemblance of a strap she automatically turns it into a purse and puts it on her arm and parades around with it. Shoes are her one of her loves...if you leave your shoes lying around it will almost definitely get relocated by a certain someone.
Swimming lessons is also still on our agenda. Kaia loves the water. Although getting her to do a back float or ignore the box of toys can sometimes be a challenge.
Right now I am onto weekly doctor’s appointments, so that, hanging out with Kaia and her social scene and trying to fit in some work is pretty much what takes up our schedules these days.
I have been thinking about it for a while now and meaning to get my thoughts and happenings down on paper again. So here is to the beginning again of more blogging.
The month of December flew by like a breeze....we went to Nova Scotia for 10 days for the holidays. It was a great time and I loved showing Erick around the east coast. We both agree that we will have to make it back in the summer months so that he can see the hustle and bustle of summer and the beauty as well. Kaia survived the flights and so did I.
My little mover and shaker is doing well....babbling and talking lots. Her vocabulary consists of words like: thank you, wow, uh oh, what’s that, night night, nice teddy.....and please take note that each of these words has their own. As I am sitting her typing I am trying to think of how I can spell her version of these words and do them justice but I don’t think it’s possible.
She is definitely a mover taking her first steps about two days before Halloween. I was warned that when she becomes mobile I will be busy and wishing she sat still again. But I can honestly tell you that I am enjoying the independence just as much as she is. I love that she goes and explores and wonders around looking for the next best entertainment. Yes watching volleyball practice and games is more work and yes shopping can be a challenge. But it is a challenge that I am ok with. I like to refer to myself more as a child wrangler when we are in public.
Kaia and I still faithfully go to play group almost every day of the week and her new found mobility has definitely made playing with the other children way more appealing to her. She is into caring her little purse around the room and stopping for breaks as she squats down and checks the contents of her purse. Anything that has the remote resemblance of a strap she automatically turns it into a purse and puts it on her arm and parades around with it. Shoes are her one of her loves...if you leave your shoes lying around it will almost definitely get relocated by a certain someone.
Swimming lessons is also still on our agenda. Kaia loves the water. Although getting her to do a back float or ignore the box of toys can sometimes be a challenge.
Right now I am onto weekly doctor’s appointments, so that, hanging out with Kaia and her social scene and trying to fit in some work is pretty much what takes up our schedules these days.
I have been thinking about it for a while now and meaning to get my thoughts and happenings down on paper again. So here is to the beginning again of more blogging.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Holy water and hunting
Two more days till Kaia gets sprinkled with holy water in front of many of our friends and family. I know that it is really more meaningful than just getting sprinkled with holy water. Although there is a large part of me that is doing this for Erick and his family as I am not catholic I am still happy to raise my children to know God, his love and all that he has for our lives. I was not raised in a Christian home but I immersed myself in the church when I was around 12 years old. I chose to get baptised and to live my life totally immersed in the Christian culture. I know the value of having that as a foundation for my life and I hope that I can help my children develop that same foundation. I truly would not be where I am today in life if it were not for my relationship with God. Whether it is a relationship that was lived loudly or a relationship that has been in my heart I have been guided, blessed and loved. And I do want the same for my children. I know that Erick feels the same way he too has a great foundation that has brought him comfort and strength in many ways. I know that he wants those same experiences for his children.
Well as I said before the list is still looming over my head....I need to wash linens, clean out my fridge, do bathrooms and wash my floors.......and and and. I at least accomplished my pantry clean out and washing the windows. I worked yesterday so yesterday was a complete waste. Erick has tomorrow off so that is great cause my little mover is a little clinger that doesn`t know how to entertain herself. I need to hire a child to come and hang out with her for a couple hours while I clean. Our niece Mataya was here a couple days ago with her mom and she played and played with Kaia it was great except I sat on my butt and had coffee with Paula. It did get my wheels turning though about having Mataya over more often ;). The company starts trickling in tomorrow afternoon my Dad being the first guest to arrive. My parents are parking their trailer here for the weekend to make room in our house for Erick’s cousin Mari and her little family. Hunting season begins on Saturday too so that also brings a bit more busy into our household. Erick loves hunting and I think my Dad is staying a few extra days to get some hunting in. Hunting is just one of the things Erick has on his already filled list of 101 things to do in Elkford. Hey maybe I should start hunting.
Well as I said before the list is still looming over my head....I need to wash linens, clean out my fridge, do bathrooms and wash my floors.......and and and. I at least accomplished my pantry clean out and washing the windows. I worked yesterday so yesterday was a complete waste. Erick has tomorrow off so that is great cause my little mover is a little clinger that doesn`t know how to entertain herself. I need to hire a child to come and hang out with her for a couple hours while I clean. Our niece Mataya was here a couple days ago with her mom and she played and played with Kaia it was great except I sat on my butt and had coffee with Paula. It did get my wheels turning though about having Mataya over more often ;). The company starts trickling in tomorrow afternoon my Dad being the first guest to arrive. My parents are parking their trailer here for the weekend to make room in our house for Erick’s cousin Mari and her little family. Hunting season begins on Saturday too so that also brings a bit more busy into our household. Erick loves hunting and I think my Dad is staying a few extra days to get some hunting in. Hunting is just one of the things Erick has on his already filled list of 101 things to do in Elkford. Hey maybe I should start hunting.
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